


Family

by FiveStillAlive



Series: Trickster [17]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Baby, Birth, Fluff, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 22:40:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14724948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiveStillAlive/pseuds/FiveStillAlive
Summary: Finally, the baby is born!Perfect, Asgardian... not a trace of Loki in it.Good.  That's safer.That's... what Loki wanted.





	Family

When Thor walked into Loki's room, he had only a moment to see. Loki was pacing about in agitation, and Valkyrie was laying a large white sheet across the bed, speaking soothingly. Fenrir’s giant head was poking over the balcony. Loki was holding his huge belly, and breathing heavily.

Then Loki spotted him. “You! Get out!” A burst of magic shoved Thor back, and slammed the door.

Thor blinked at the door for a minute, then tried knocking. He could hear voices inside.

Valkyrie opened the door.

“He doesn't want you.” She looked smug, and perfectly prepared to kick Thor's ass. Thor suddenly remembered how wild Sakaar had been, and wondered how many women Valkyrie had protected from abusive exes over the millennia.

But he was neither abusive, nor an ex. “Valkyrie, please. Is he in labor?”

“No.”

She stared him down, unblinking, as Loki screamed behind her and let out a stream of curses.

“Loki! Let me in!”

Valkyrie grunted, and slammed the door.

Thor kicked the door down, just to be safe, and strode in. “You’re both being ridiculous! It is my child too; I’m going to be here!”

“Get out! You cock-headed bastard, this is your fault!”

Loki shoved him with magic again, but Thor could resist Loki’s power, when he was determined.

“Loki...."

“I could have done this all with magic, months ago! We could have had a perfect little child with none of this-” Loki moaned, as another contraction hit. Valkyrie rushed to his side, and kept him from falling. Fenrir let out a low, whining howl.

“A perfect dragon!” Thor protested.

“I hope it has scales!” Loki shrieked. Valkyrie led him to the bed.

“Don't say that.” Thor said, unhappily. He trailed after them to the bed, pleading. “Loki, please, let me stay! You can yell at me all you want, it’s all my fault, but don't make me leave!”

Valkyrie was leaning over Loki, trying to sooth him through the pain, letting him squeeze her hand hard. “You want me to kick him out, sweetie? I will throw him right off that balcony for you. Will that make you feel better?”

Loki squeezed tight to Valkyrie, and nodded pitifully.

“Okay!” Valkyrie rose and turned to face him, and Thor grimaced.

“Hey....” He rose a hand. “Valkyrie.... Let's not...."

\--------------

Thor rolled over and looked up at the sun, and Fenrir's giant body.

Valkyrie was so cool. He was so glad she was Loki's friend.

Fenrir nudged him with his nose. He sighed. “I’m alright.”

Another of Loki's cries drifted out over the balcony. Fenrir's ears twitched, and he whined.

“He’ll be alright too.” Thor rose an arm to scratch the giant wolf’s chin, and sat up. “What do you think, pup? Boy or girl? Neither?”

Fenrir huffed, licked him, then abandoned him in favor of the balcony. Fair.

Thor looked up wistfully. Well, maybe he'd just wait until Loki was a bit farther along. He might have less interest in kicking Thor out then.

\------------------

Loki groaned, and tried to focus on timing her contractions. She kept losing count.

She kept worrying about the baby.

Not its health. She could feel its strength within her, had felt how very alive it was for weeks.

No. She worried about its appearance.

‘Look like Thor.’ she begged the child, silently. ‘Take after Thor!’

It would be safer. Safer by far. Loki had tried so hard, tried to keep her form as perfectly Asgardian as she could. If it came out with black hair, that was fine! She worried about what other traits it might get from her.

She was a shapeshifter, with Faery parentage, they now knew. The child might look like anything.

It would never fit in. It would never be accepted as Thor's heir, never be accepted as Asgardian! Loki only barely was, and she at least looked the part.

So Thor couldn't be here. Because if the child came out wrong, she had made up her mind to disguise it. She would never even let Thor know. She would not let her child grow up with a father disappointed in their nature.

She had already sworn Valkyrie to secrecy. Valkyrie, who had spent so long in the wilds of the galaxy, who understood about need and instability and deception. Valkyrie had promised to help her, and to keep Thor away.

The labor progressed, as these things did. It was terribly unpleasant and crude, and Thor tried to come in several more times. Finally Loki had shouted that Thor was distracting her, and threatened not to let him in afterward either. Thor had begged, absolutely pleaded, but in the end was waiting in the hallway, outside her broken door.

Loki moaned. She wanted Thor here. Thor should be here, she needed him! She almost called out to him, as the labor went on and on. But Valkyrie was there, taking care of her, and keeping her strong enough to protect her child.

Finally it was over. Valkyrie cleaned the child, and brought it to Loki, and Loki moaned to see it. Her child! Her baby! Hers and Thor’s together! For a moment she couldn't even take in how it looked. She held it, cradled it to her, and felt love for this tiny thing overwhelm her. Fenrir was yowling happily, seeming to understand his sibling was born.

Loki brushed its whispy hair back, and it finally occurred to her tired mind that the child was perfect. Pink and blond and well-formed, as perfectly Asgardian as she could ever have hoped. She bent, trembling, to kiss its tiny forehead, and unexpected grief overwhelmed her.

She had done it. She had buried all the un-Asgardian parts of her, and erased the truth of her nature from this child. Odin would be so proud, of this child. This child was perfect. It had nothing of Loki in it.

She kissed her child again, loving it, crying. She suddenly couldn't stand to be in this form a moment longer, couldn't stand to wear this lie. She used magic to tear off the armband she'd put on months ago, to keep her from shifting while pregnant, and searched inside, trying to find some true form, any body that actually belonged to her. She had been born of Fae parents, she must have had some form before shifting to an ice giant! Had she? Perhaps she had been formless, before they hid her on Jotunheim. She could find nothing. Nothing more hers than this pale Asgardian body. She held her child, and loved it, and cried.

It was not her child. It was this body’s child. And she had never felt more detached from this body.

She kept herself quiet; she did not want Thor to hear. Valkyrie gave her a few minutes, taking bloody sheets and even cleaning Loki, and draping her in clean ones.

“You okay?” she asked softly, when she was done, as Loki got herself under control.

Loki nodded. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

Valkyrie just smiled, and brushed back Loki's hair. “You’re still wrapping your head around this friends idea, huh?”

Loki snorted, and rested her head against Valkyrie’s arm.

“Don't fall asleep on me. I’m getting Thor. You can fall asleep on him. I have to go get drunk. Birth is disgusting!”

Loki laughed, and leaned obediently back on her pillow instead. She looked down at her child and must have been mesmerized, because Thor was there the next moment, crouching by her bed, in awe.

“Loki.” he breathed. He kissed her forehead, her hair, and finally Loki looked up from their child and received a kiss on the mouth. “Loki, look what you did!”

Loki laughed. She was too exhausted for that. Their child made little mewling noises, and she brought it to her nipple to latch on. Thor was trembling with excitement, and buried his head against her shoulder, eye never leaving their child.

When it was full, she held it close another moment, and took a deep breath. She'd known this would happen. She'd known she'd have to share. She wanted Thor to have this with her, and to do that, she had to share her child.

Breath catching, she offered her child to Thor.

Thor made a soft, overwhelmed noise, and took it. His hands were so big, holding the tiny thing. He held it gently, so gently, and stared at it, then looked up at Loki with unspeakable love.

Loki smiled.

And passed out.

\---------

The next day or so was hazy. She was awake sometimes. She held and fed her child. Sometimes she slept leaning against Thor, them holding their child together. She remembered waking up and quietly watching Thor bring their baby over to Fenrir, who probably could have inhaled the thing. Fenrir sniffed it and nuzzled gently, and wriggled in quiet pleasure at meeting his sibling.

\----------

Loki recovered quickly enough, and the next few weeks passed happily.

Except Loki couldn't stop feeling the twinge of sadness at how thoroughly erased she was from this child. The baby was Asgardian, perfect in every way. She was terrified of being separated from it, as if someone would leap in and claim the child wasn’t hers, and take it away. How would she prove she was its mother? She had lost her first child for being too strange. Would she lose this one for being too perfect?

It was what she’d wanted.

She had a nightmare one night. She had given Thor what he wanted, so he had no more use for her. He was huge and imposing, and finally pressed into the mold Odin had always intended for him, hard and cold, with distant eyes. He took her child, and threw her in the dungeon to forget, brutally dragging her there, and ignored her screams. When she woke, Thor tried to calm her, and she thought he was only being so gentle until she was no longer needed for breastfeeding. She’d scrambled from the bed, and taken her child, and even after her head cleared, and she remembered Thor would not do that, she could not put it down, or return to bed, or let Thor near her, until daylight returned the world to sanity.

But that was only the one night. The others passed happily, cuddled with Thor. Thor worshipped her, and she him, and bliss was the only word to describe their unhurried pleasure in each other.

She stayed in her female form, uncertain if shifting would stop her from nursing. Besides, she could still find no truth inside to shift to.

And the child was of this body. If she shifted, would it still be hers?

Her rooms had always been her retreat, and Thor’s the ones they shared, so Loki found herself back in Thor's room, soon. Loki rarely left them, absorbed in her child. Delirious with happiness, she started having mad thoughts about letting Thor get her with another child, forgetting the unpleasantness of pregnancy and birth.

They often sat on the balcony, and she watched her child watch the world. Its baby eyes went huge and excited whenever a bird came, and Loki started leaving food to tempt them in. It kicked and squeeked in tiny baby thrill whenever Fenrir came.

One day she woke from a nap to Thor's startled shout. He was standing over the crib, and Loki had never gotten up faster. He raced to Thor's side, only much later realizing that he'd shifted back to a man in sheer panic.

“Loki, the baby!”

Loki reached the crib, and looked in, and began to laugh. A young raven sat inside, peering up at them.

He laughed, delighted, and picked up the bird. “Do you not know your own child?” he teased. As he held the bird close, it shifted back into the Asgardian form they'd known, and gurgled. His child! It was not Asgardian, a product only of Loki’s mimicked Asgardian body! It was theirs, truly!

Loki held it close, feeling he would break with so much happiness. He leaned into Thor, who held them both, heart still racing with his fear of thinking their baby gone.

Loki thought of their world, rebuilt from Ragnarok. Their family, rebuilt anew.

“Brother,” he murmured, happily. “Look what we’ve made.”

**Author's Note:**

> And that's... the end!?
> 
> I'm seriously a conflicted mess, because I really enjoy writing this series, and I have a lot more ideas of what to do with it, but I don't want to turn it into The Series That Never Ends, even though I've barely had Loki deal with being a Faery, and Thor has Things To Say about being kicked out of the birth, and I never fit in all the petty revenges Loki gets whenever he figures out exactly who Thor sleeps with when he's gone, or the Grandmaster crashing one of their road trips and demanding to go adventuring with them, or Loki and Valkyrie divaing around, or....
> 
> I could keep writing this series forever.
> 
> But I'm going to take a break, and work on some other stories, and TRY to let this series have a nice wrap up, and if my brain keeps coming back here, then I guess I'll be back!
> 
> Thank you everyone who has read this! Thank you for kudos, thank you for commenting, thank you for reading my nonsense!
> 
> \----------
> 
> I'm on Tumblr: <https://www.tumblr.com/blog/runnerfivestillalive>


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